Commit time to relationship building

Give time to your pupils. Whether in lessons or outside the classroom, pupils will want to engage with you and talk to you. Give them time to build a belief that you are a teacher and human who will listen to them. Children believe their voice is important and want you to demonstrate that you value their thoughts and ideas.

Be interested in them

Children have all sorts of interests. They are unique, complex individuals who will be motivated, excited, challenged or concerned by all sorts of things. Find shared commonalities. A style of music, a favourite sport, game, movie, subject, book. Whatever it is that gives you (and them) a hook upon which to build a relationship.

Be present in their lives

Take the opportunity to discover your pupils in different lights. Be present at cultural, sporting or artistic events. Show them you support them. Be their fan. 

Be in the moment and be emotionally available

It’s not enough just to learn their names. We are so task-oriented and focused on the next job or task, we forget to just be 'in the moment' in our interactions with others. Be emotionally available, be aware, spot changes in mood, respond to those signals. Enjoy the interactions, rather than hurry them along. 

Shared stories and shared values

If you don’t talk to people, they’ll never learn who you are. Tell pupils things about you, share stories. Be human. Children want to believe their teachers are normal, like them. Don’t pretend to be anything else. Humanise yourself and show you have a life outside the classroom. 

Find specifics to engage with

Children are intelligent young humans, developing the ability to read and understand body language and facial expression. They know if you are engaged with them and, if you can show genuine interest in the things that matter to them, they will value this engagement. Don’t glaze over, don’t daydream. Listen, hear and respond positively.

Have a sense of humour

School life has a habit of taking itself too seriously. Sometimes teachers forget that life is supposed to be fun, for everyone. Our environment needs to be welcoming, fun, happy places where everyone enjoys spending time and learning. Be the light in your school. Laugh with your pupils. Be silly, make them want to spend time with you.